Have you ever been in public and think "GOSH, I'd hate to be that mother" or how about "Is that toxic smell coming from my child or is it hers?" Then you sigh in relief that it in fact is not your child who smells like a dumpster on a 105 degree day! It's okay to laugh because most of us can honestly say we've been in BOTH of these situations, the thinker and the unfortunate soul who gets to change that tenth bomb of the day! I can honestly say that I've hardly been in the position of the thinker, because I'm one who says things before I actually think. I know terrible, what would you do if I was standing next to you and I said "Ass cheeks much?" You'd probably think I was crazy, or maybe you'd see what I'm talking about and get a giggle.

 

I do have a story for you though, that almost resulted in me getting my booty kicked by Xena the Warrior Princess! Scary, I know. 

 

Freshmen year of college, me and my friends drank quite a lot before going to this dive bar/dance club place (perks of going to a small town college). It was that place you had to get drunk to go to, because it was that horrible.. Looking back I'm surprised I didn't catch something while I was there :l But back on point, there was this girl she was about 6ft 2inches and out for the kill.. I mean she was grinding on everything that would stay still for her to get a leg up, she even tried to grind on me EEK! Well she finally found someone who would tolerate her mating ritual! Instantly I say, SHE WANTS THE D! This girl automatically whips around and goes BITCH and starts stomping towards me. Literally, any buzz I had was gone. Luckily, that dude was equally interested in the V so he stopped her. Moral of this story, that was one of those times I should have kept my trap shut! I could have became a sacrafice to the sex gods!